Do you believe in soulmates? by Harishni Manoharan, The Henrietta Barnett School

Soulmate, a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. The term in current usage refers to a romantic partner with the suggestion of an exclusive lifelong bond. But just what is the chances of meeting that special someone? With a quick google search, I was stunned to see that the exact percentage was 0.010 percent (1 in 10,000). The percentage is calculated assuming your soulmate is set at birth, is roughly in the same age bracket and the love is recognisable at first sight. However, this concept has sparked great debate over the years dividing people into 2 groups, the ‘destiny’ believers and the ‘growth’ believers otherwise known as the ‘soulmate believers’ and the ‘soulmate non-believers’.

‘Destiny’ believers would say that one person has been fated to be with them. Someday their paths will cross and fall in love at first sight. On the contrary, ‘growth’ believers believe that people can change and grown throughout a relationship and at the end of the day there is more than one person for you.

Interestingly, the two groups of people also have different ways of approaching a romantic relationship. ‘Destiny’ believers put a lot of energy into assessing and analysing the different aspects of their partner. Is this person right for me? Is this it? Is this my forever? Unlike ‘destiny’ believers, ‘growth’ believers spend a lot more of their energy into building a relationship and constantly working at it to maintain a stable relationship. How can we compromise? How do we make up? How do we work together?

Ultimately, the path of these relationships also vastly differs from each other. ‘Destiny’ believers tend to have short, fiery, passionate periods. But when something small goes wrong, these believers tend to start questioning whether they are their soulmate, and so eventually leave them because they do not want to waste time when they could potentially be with their soulmate. As you can probably guess right now, ‘growth’ believers spend a little more time setting up their relationship, feeling each other out. As a result, they have more stable long-term relationships because their energy is focused on building the relationship.

The best way to approach any relationship in my opinion is with the ‘growth’ mindset. This is because compromising is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. It is important that you and you partner have the same fundamental beliefs without any compromise, but with issues that you can change your mind set on a little bit, you and your partner can both grow together with more of an open mind. I believe this is the most beautiful part about any relationship, you need to constantly work at it and should not expect an effortless relationship where things seem to magically fall into place.

After reading this article, what is your stance on soulmates? Regardless of whether you are more of a ‘destiny’ believer or a ‘growth’ believer, it is important to understand that compromise is essential for any relationship, not just platonic ones. Now that you are better informed, I wish you all the luck in making all your relationships the best they can be!

Harishni Manoharan

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